WoodCop: Woodworking

So You Want To Be A Woodworker
by Rick Fox

    Welcome to Woodworking!

    You have just embarked on a lifetime journey of happiness, joy, peace, satisfaction, and complete and utter frustration. Since I have accumulated literally weeks of experience since the latter part of the 1990's, it is only fitting that I should be willing to give back to the trade something in return. Namely, tips.

    Chapter #1 - Set Up

    One of the first decisions you must make as a new woodworker is how many tools you can afford. The more, the better. Don't be preoccupied with worrying about what the tools will be used for. Remember: you are only a beginner - how could you possibly know at this early stage?

    While you are considering how much you can spend on tools, it is best not to involve any other members of the household on such an important decision. After all, YOU are the one who has the ambition to create beautiful works of art from dead trees, so you should make all the purchasing decisions.

    Once you have come to a conclusion on the total amount of money available, proceed to the next step: "What can I sell?" With a little looking around the house, you will find many things that at one time seemed to be worth a considerable amount of money to you, but now have gone unused for days. Like the kitchen range. You do have a microwave, right? How often do you cook nachos in the oven, for crying out loud? Get rid of it. After all, life is a matter of priorities.

    I will leave the rest of this step up to you. Just walk around the house examining everything you see. Can you justify owning that? If another family member gives you a quizzical look while you are considering the value of, say, a toilet, just make up an excuse quickly - like, "Oh, I was just admiring the plumbing, Honey." She'll probably just shake her head, roll her eyes, and mutter something like, "It's been sitting there for eight years, and he just noticed it?"

    After gathering all your funds together, it is very important to buy the tools you will need all at once. Otherwise, considerable objections from people less interested in beauty than you will hinder any additional purchases. When you get home from the tool store or woodworking show with all your tools still in boxes, you will understand one of the true joys of woodworking - buying cool stuff.

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